I was born into a chaotic household. My parents were addicts. My three older sisters were teenagers, barely supervised, who were expected to take care of me and eventually my little brother who was born a few years later.
My mom called herself a functional drunk. She was usually at work. I don’t really have many memories of her as a small child, not a lot of good ones anyway.
I never really knew my maternal grandmother. She didn’t speak to me much and she wasn’t affectionate.
And yet… I had so much love in my heart. Every child does.
I remember once I was lying in my bedroom, probably around five years old. My parents had just gotten home. I called to my dad from my room and when he came in I said, “Dad, I love you with all my heart.”
I learned that phrase from his mother, my maternal grandmother. In those days, she was the only one who would look deep into my eyes and tell me through her expression: “YOU ARE PRECIOUS.”
I could brush her hair and sit on her lap and ask her a million questions. I could give her my drawings and tell her my stories and somehow I always felt that she was giving me her undivided attention.
Today would have been her birthday. It has been over twenty years since she left this earth.
Once while I was brushing her hair, she turned to me. I was probably only eight and said, “Amy someday will you name your daughter after me?”
Presumptuous I know. But my answer was an unequivocal “YES.” I never forgot that moment. And the minute my daughter came into the world she was ALICE.
Everyone needs someone to reflect back to them, their undeniable beauty, the miracle of their existence.
Sometimes the people around us aren’t able to do it when we need it because of their own struggles. My mother grew into a wonderful mother and friend and showed me the power we all have to turn our lives around.
You are a product of the people who surround you. When you’re a child you don’t have a choice. As an adult you can do something about it.
Before coaching, all I knew was overachievement and striving. I thought I would be worthy of love through my appearance and my accomplishments. Self acceptance was foreign. Through coaching and the example of the coaches I have worked with, I learned that I was a non renewable resource. I learned how to change my relationship with myself, with other women, with my husband, with my children, with my body, with my career, with my spirituality.
I have one more spot available for 1:1 coaching.
If you’d like to chat about whether it’s a fit for you, send me an email or a direct message and I’ll make time to talk to you.
Who are you surrounded by and what are they reflecting back to you?
Because you need to know that you ARE precious.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA.
